Cursed are thou for thine winter past due. Bestowed thy silverware on shattering glasses.

Leave now, with thy tongue in between thine bossoms. Harbour not, the heart of black; darkness.

Mono - Silent Flight, Sleeping Dawn

I am a walking paradox. Given to circumstances, I don't give a fuck about what everyone thinks, but deep down inside I want to hear the words that ties in to my existence. As if it fucking matters. Reality paints a bleak picture to me, the democratic idiocy. Majority wins. Bandwagon fucks. I feel so lonely.

I march a silent protest to everything I've come to know, without even knowing it. If I shut the doors, who, besides I, could open them? I preach wisdom of humanity and all its political correctness, but why is there a void that swallows my words and spits me out into ignorance, disbelief and mistrust? Why do I twist and turn, in hopes of finding my Legend. The biological make up of personalities, rather than the grown characteristics of seeds sown by cultural references. Is there a point to joining the bandwagon? Would I wear pants if everyone wore skirts? Is there a social system of democracy already instilled in our upbringing?

Why am I even challenging human nature's herd mentality.
Fuck this shit I should be working.

The Decemberist - The Perfect Crime #2

I feel so alive.

The stress of articulating all my thoughts into 2500 words is so fucking stressful.

This arduous task of television studies in all its luxurious laxity.

The amounting stress accumulated just for the sake of reaching this point in time.

Time.

Word count.

Stress is one of the only emotional escape of which I embrace. The sheer realism of responsibilities, the juncture of events yet to become. Stress in all its essence is pure emotional challenge. If one could deal with stress, one has mental strength. I'm not saying I'm mentally
strong, I just like to test my mental capabilities. Maybe if I try hard enough, I will have enough power to do magic.

If I can't produce the best piece ever written, I'll damn well produce an above average piece under shitty circumstances. Fuck me and my excuses, I'm a failure of a human being. Somebody talk some sense into me please. :~~(

BRB EPIC PIECE.

Silence

Blasphemous, rain drops upon a window pane during a summer's heat.
What less what more, quintessentially ironic,
An imperative design of high culture.

There is status to be gained, socialites to begone.
If no one answers the calls, who then shall define society's misfit?
You?
No sir, I am begging your pardon of such arduous accusations.
No, it is the very existence of 'Us' that defines a misfit.
The lack of tact, the mispronunciation of politically correct values.
If not I, then who?

If I won't admit to my faults,
Will you, the cultured society, admit to your weaknesses?
If I were the judge to your human failure, should you boldly defend your nature?
Or has it been the irony of shared knowledge that has led everyone to false confidence.
Does the term 'ego' spread far and wide, so much till there is none a shred of chivalry.
Your 'dawg' is by far a by product of our lowly, money & power driven, commercially improvised media consumption.

There is no case here.
There is middle aged values that has become bygones much as the tomes of old.
Buried within the stench of our machinery.


Again, the quintessential irony.
And again, imperatively failure of design.
Evolution is the bane of our very existence.
Where are our robots?
Wait, we ARE the robots.

Feist - Now At Last

The hardest part of writing is coming up with the first line.


There. I said it.

Now I hate myself.

Kotaro Oshio & Char

Fuck yes I'm totally driven by caffeine. My blood is rushing, my mind is on overdrive and my eyes are bloodshot. Yes its the assignment time again. Astonishingly, I'm doing Popular Asian Music.

I get to study music in Asia.

I didn't get what I asked for. I don't study music per se, I study the scene of which music takes place in Asian countries (Japan, China, Indonesia etcetc). It's as interesting as studying political situations in places around the world, though it is indeed interesting, it is boring too. Its like studying history, you learn about how rock and roll came about in China, the developments of karaoke (literally meaning empty orchestra in Japanese), the sociological analysis of its impacts on society, western influences bla-fucking-yada.

I wish we studied keys, chords, scales used in certain types of musics :( Being the music illiterate and only playing by ear (not as glamorous as it sounds when you sit down to discuss music and all its technicalities while you sit there and say "i don't know, i just play what i hear or i read tabs (pathetic /wimps)"

Then again, this is still better than studying statistics and commercial banking. \o/ Redundancy is the key to accomplish 'doing nothing'.

Balmorhea - Baleen Morning

My caffeine drive just died like 10 minutes ago, so I'm gonna write in real time consciousness. Which sucks by the way.

I have acquired a new area of skills that are in development. The art of de-socializing.

First and foremost, it is often in comparison with the art of being goth and the art of being emo. It is however neither and differentiates itself by applying to a more scientific approach called being anti-social. However you don't become anti-social overnight, you develop it by initially de-socializing from your peers.

Heres a few simple steps to learn the art:

Look at the floor when you walk
You want to keep your head down in the event that someone you know is passing by. You won't see him so you don't feel the obligation to go right pass him and initiate a social interaction. If that person wants to say hi to you, let him do it on his on device. You're de-socializing, so distant yourself from social interactions. The only time when you should look straight is to look at hot chicks. (You know when one is passing when you see a hot pair of legs from your obscure vision).

Avoid eye contact when forced to be in a social interaction
Okay look, you can't keep social interactions at bay FOREVER. You might have a legitimate excuse that forces you to stand in a spot erect and speak with someone. Avoid eye contact whenever possible. Look at that huge wall beside him or the pair of hot legs that went pass you or someshit, whatever JUST DON'T LOOK INTO THEIR EYES. It gives people warm feelings about you when you do that, and obviously you don't want that.

Avoid social situations
So you've been asked out for a drink by a friend whom you're not close with or someone who disgusts you because you think he's full of shit or he just wants to party alot. DECLINE it. Lie and say you've got to do your assignments (works best) or if you can't make up shit (because you're not socially adept), slowly back away and say you can't because you're tired but all you really want to do is stay home and listen to fucktup music that kills lives. (IE: nothing from that shitty band you heard on the radio).

Stay quiet during a discussion
You're antisocial. Its not that you don't an opinion, you just don't think its worth mentioning because you have to socially communicate with people that you don't give a shit about. You just don't give a shit so stay quiet. Don't waste your time because communicating idea enforces growth in social relationships. You don't want that at all. Fade into the background. If need be, appear to be listening but you're counting the seconds to walk away. The less you say, the least likely they're gonna come looking for you to talk.

Remember, you hate people in general
Remain close to the people you deem worthy of your limited socializing time, but never interact with people outside your small circle unless deemed worth or has a pair of hot legs. You hate the masses because you think they're robots but your only few friends are cool because well, they're your only few friends. Its always best if your only few friends are online friends because that limits social interactions to times you only feel that you have the courage to talk to them about mundane shit that does not matter to you.

Do shit on your own
Eat by yourself. Run your chores alone. Watch a movie alone. Shop alone. Go to the library and pick an isolated spot to read. KEEP READING TO AVOID SOCIAL INTERACTIONS. Appear to be alone at all times but don't act lonely because thats an indication for someone whos interested in you to approach you and make small talk. Leave no opportunity for people to invade your private zone. Stay home whenever possible.




I feel so sad writing this, but I'm not anti-social. I just have fears of becoming one. Much to the irony of fear, I welcome it just as much. It's like Miley Cyrus to me, I hate her and shes bad for me, but her guitar is oh so sexy.

Wintersleep - Insomnia

The last few weeks had been a ridiculous roller coaster. Skin slowly shedding. A bright light slowly forming . My ignorance is SLOWLY, and I mean epically SLOWLY disintegrating.


I feel a soul reborn.
But I'm dead tired. If I had to choose between opening my mind and staying in while reading a book, I would choose the latter hands down. Just because I'm lazy and I want to run into fantasy again.